Bikinis and body image.

I spent a lot of time getting about halfway through making content for my blog (for some of the ambitious entries I mentioned in my new year post), only to completely run out of time to work on the blog.

My choices right now are to either stop posting entries until after I'm not so busy (wedding + home buying + full time job, but at least the wedding will be over in a month, and the first part of the home buying, hopefully), or write shorter entries that require less prep work and photos... and I've decided to go with the second option, at least for now.

Obliquely related to the topic of larger busts and weddings, is what to do on the beach for the honeymoon! I am very much looking forward to our honeymoon (a very simple plan: relaxation, warmth, beach. Normally, my fiance and I like to go and do things we can't do at home while on vacation-- in this case, we thought the highest priority for the honeymoon is relaxing after such a stressful period of time, and enjoying being married. And never, ever, ever having to plan a wedding ever again).

Also related to this topic is that I told my fiance when we planned the honeymoon, that I was only packing bikinis for swimwear. This had several purposes:

• Encourage me to continue working out during this highly stressful time
• Encourage attention to food and protein intake (this was not so successful-- stress and lack of time has been used as an excuse too much in the past few months... though I've neither gained, or lost on the scale)
• By far the most important thing: Get more comfortable with my body

I've talked about coming to terms with my natural figure/body a lot on this blog-- I feel like body-hatred and self-consciousness is so strongly encouraged in the media aimed at females of all ages... and it's such a waste. Why? Why have negative emotions about your body? Why hate it? Why try to change it's physical appearance through methods that don't have health benefits? What's the point? It's so negative and miserable and a waste of time that could be better spent doing almost anything else.

I think human diversity is beautiful, and I refuse to continue applying that concept to everyone except myself.

I haven't owned a bikini since I was about 8 years old. I was an overweight kid and I hit puberty early, and with that came a lot of changes that I... hated. Whether learned or inherent, I felt hideous, and I hid my body throughout my teenage years and into my early twenties.

Wearing a bikini on my honeymoon, for me, is an important next step for owning and loving my body.

So: I am going to the beach, and I am not giving myself the option of a "safe" one piece. That said, I do want bikinis that makes me feel good about myself, and cover and support my body in a manner that won't require attention to my attire, rather than the atmosphere of relaxation.

With my breast size, typical triangle string bikinis are out. I know that bra brands have good options (albeit generally more expensive retail cost-- so as always, I shopped for sales and discontinued patterns), but there's also some mainstream swim brands that offer "larger bust" options.

Image from SwimOutlet.com

One of the swim short styles I'd especially liked was this one, from Sporti, and the top had an underwire and boasted the size range: D, DD, and E cup! (No band sizes-- of course the band is adjustable, but cup size without the coordinating band size really tells you nothing). I crossed my fingers that the E cup would be able to accommodate, and ordered a set ($30 total, $15 each piece).

I wouldn't say the top is as supportive or as flattering as a bra-band style, but it does get the job done-- the central gore was a bit too wide, and the material is a bit too stretchy for ideal support and shape, but it is good enough that I kept it! The bottoms definitely run small, in my opinion, and I'm in the process of exchanging them for a bigger size.

I tried on a variety of different "larger cup" styles from other brands as well (in for a penny, in for a pound, as they say), and didn't find a single other one worth keeping, at least for my particular size.

The other options I looked at were primarily Freya and Panache bikinis. I also tried on some ASOS brand "large cup" swimwear, but found them mis-sized and generally not at all flattering, once again (other than some cute swim bottoms). This Panache set was quite flattering, but I'm not a big fan of the bandeau look, and for mental security reasons when in the water, I prefer permanently attached shoulder straps.

One of my favorite sets was the Freya Kansas set-- I thought the small gingham pattern was a bit too "innocent" for my taste in pictures, but the cut and style are so flattering and comfortable, that I didn't mind at all looking a bit like Dorothy. (As always seems to be the case with Freya sets, I chose a different pairing of separates than what they pictured as ensembles-- I got the halter bikini top with the low rise briefs). The downside to a lot of the patterns I found in bra-brand swimwear tops, is they were nearly impossible to find a non-branded match to-- so I couldn't just wear a blue bottom with the Kansas Bluebell top, as the color and pattern didn't match well with any "generic" color bottom, in my opinion. I was able to locate my preferred bottom style in the right size and color for a price I was willing to pay, but that can be more difficult with popular or long discontinued sets.


If the stars align just right, maybe I'll have a few beach bikini pictures to share after the honeymoon next month.