Wedding dresses for a busty hourglass figure.

I've mentioned several times on here that I am engaged, and with engagement eventually comes marriage. Also, in some cases, a wedding.

I'm not really interested in weddings or wedding planning, to be honest. It's never been an interest of mine, which is unfortunate because planning a wedding is pretty much like having a second full-time job, except you don't get paid-- and if I liked wedding planning, at least I'd enjoy all this extra work! This is not to say I'm not excited about getting married to my fiance, who I love deeply... but I'd be fine with eloping or just getting a civil ceremony in a courtroom. However, it is important to our families, and it'll be nice to have pictures and something to look back on as the formal start of a new stage in our relationship, so we ultimately decided that we are going to do the whole shebang.

To further alienate a sizeable portion of the female population, let me continue: I was really not excited about my wedding dress. I've been writing a blog about the difficulties of getting clothing that fits my figure correctly, for goodness sake! I've been dreading trying to find something that would fit, look good, and not cost a fortune or require tons of alterations... and unfortunately, neither BiuBiu, Urkye, nor even Pepperberry has a bridal line! The idea of spending a lot of money on a dress I'd wear one day, and never again, was also rather galling. I want to look pretty, sure, I don't want to spend a whole bunch of money on a dress with nearly immediate obsolescence!

So, it's safe to say I'm essentially the Scrooge of wedding planning.

Thankfully, my fiance was willing to help me with the planning (though to be frank: if he hadn't been willing, I probably would have gone back to the idea of a courthouse or eloping), and slowly but surely we are getting things done. We have a venue, photographer, the wedding party, my shoes, flowers, caterer, cake. I choose not to address the massive remaining to-do list right now, so I can maintain some sense of satisfaction.

We're less than 3.5 months out at this point, so a lot of the important details need to be finalized very soon. I know that I need to get a dress, because alterations are time consuming, and I'm already too close to the wedding date to order something, if I can't find something I love in stock.

My enterprising maids (er, bridesmaids) and I endeavored to locate a suitable frock today, and success was finally had! I tried on maybe 20 dress total, which honestly is not more than most brides, I would think. This was surprising to me, as I thought my bust would make it more difficult and time consuming.

Since one of the main aims of this blog is to help other busty women, here's some generalizable trends I noticed to find a dress that will work for a busty woman, but keep in mind that what you want in a wedding dress might be different from what I want.

• Don't eliminate styles based on the neckline or straps. I assumed that strapless dresses would not be flattering or feasible with my size bust, only to end up choosing a strapless dress. You should try on a variety of styles to find what you like best on your body. In addition, adding sleeves is a common and simple alteration, if you prefer to wear a bra with straps on the day.
• Corset back dresses will likely give the best fit if you are bustier than "average"-- I would strongly recommend focusing on corset-laced backs (it's fairly easy to add a corset style back to a dress during alterations, but the results may not be as visually pleasant as a dress designed to close with a corset. This will depend on the skill of your seamstress and the style of the dress-- if it has many embellishments on the bodice, it will likely look strange with a plain corset section). 
• I needed to go up two sizes in most brands to get a dress that could fasten across my bust, and then I'd be able to swim in the waist and hip region. With the corset back, you can get a dress that will fit your waist and hips, and then have it laced looser up top to accomodate your measurements. Of course, the dress can still be altered to fit you better, but with a corset back you can get the space you need up top, while keeping a good fit elsewhere. 
• In addition, I didn't need any support garments (not even a strapless bra) in a correctly laced corset dress. I NEVER would have expected that in 1,000 years. (NEVER. NEVER. I couldn't believe it worked).
•  If you are short and busty (as I am), you might want to look down at yourself while trying on dresses, especially if you are choosing between a few top contenders. My second-favorite dress had a sweetheart neckline, which looked lovely from the front, but showed a lot of cleavage when I looked down. If you've got any pervy guests that you don't want leering down your cleavage, you might be better off with a more straight neckline (which is what I ended up with).
• I also thought the straight neckline looked more flattering from all angles, than the sweetheart, on my figure.

I ended up with a Maggie Sottero dress (with a corset back), and I feel really pretty in it! It was also on sale for a price I was willing to pay. Before trying it on, I definitely did NOT believe that "when I found the right dress, I would know" (though several women had told me that I should) as I'm fairly pragmatic, rather than a starry-eyed romantic... but when I was looking at myself in this dress, I felt beautiful and like this dress is what I'd want to wear on my wedding day (even though I didn't really know what that would feel like before). I felt like it made my figure look the best it could... and I couldn't wait for my fiance to see me in it (but we'll both have to wait for that)!

I never would have looked at this dress on the hanger and thought "it's the one," (dramatic music) so I recommend going to a dress shop and letting them put you in different styles until you find a style that "is... okay!" (I felt a lot of ambivalence about the first few dresses I tried on) and let them choose dresses that they think you'll like until you've found something that makes you feel wonderful about how you look. Turns out, people who spend all day long choosing and helping women put on specialized clothing, are really good at figuring out what you'll like if you share what you think about each dress!

General advice for any bride:

• Have someone take picture of you in the dress. It should make you feel good every time you see the picture, and remove any doubts. If it doesn't, don't buy that one. It's okay to leave and come back later, especially if you've left enough time to order a dress. (Unlike me. :p )
• Don't try on more dresses once you've found the one. If you still feel like you need to try on more dresses to be sure... well, that probably means it's not the one you should buy (with the exception of personality differences-- maybe you are never sure about anything but you are really happy with the dress: then, never mind. Maybe uncertainty doesn't mean it's not the best dress. But still don't try on more if you are sure). 
• I almost bought a dress I didn't like (for me) because my mother and mother in law told me it was perfect, but it made me sad to imagine wearing it. I decided to go out again with just friends who won't pressure me into picking what they think is best, and I found a dress that makes me feel good, instead of what made the people who came with me feel good. This is one case where what you think is the most important, because how you feel you look is going to show in the pictures and on your face all day).

The floor model fit me perfectly, so I won't have any alterations other than adding a bustle (with the caveats, since I'm short, that I must wear a mermaid crinoline underneath to keep the skirt fluffed out so I won't trip, and that I wear the 4 inch platform heels that I had already picked out).

I wasn't sure if I should show pictures or not, but I will because I think the post will be more useful with pictures. These were totally candid-- I didn't realize she was taking pictures until afterward, so they aren't posed well, but they are all I have since I can't put it on without help!

 

I hope this post will be helpful for other busty brides! I had a hard time finding posts or pictures with advice on wedding dresses for women with a large bust, which is why I felt so driven to write this post.